Okay, so I understand that ladies take care of each other... sometimes voraciously. You know how it is when several of them get together, how they run little test programs to gauge the validity of various things for each other -- is he cute enough for my friend?; how will he react when he sees a hot lady walk by?; how miserable will he let us make him before he screams and runs away?

You know what I'm talking about, right? If you're a guy, you already yelled out "no doubt!" or "dude!" or whatever. If you're one of said ladies, you likely already changed the page of this site, so you're not reading this anyway.

So... here's the deal: I keep getting tested about how well I'm going to hold up to this whole parenthood thing. A year or two ago, it was my mother-in-law observing me like a rat in a cage with her other daughter's (you know, my wife's sister,) twins at around 3 years old or whatever they were at the time. (Whoops, I just failed a test right there! Did you catch that? No? Well, you see, I was supposed to know how old they were when we saw them, along with the color of their hair... neither of which I can recall at the moment. See how much trouble I'm already in?)

Well anyway, I did pretty well during that testing period even though I didn't know the test was underway.(aka: "he's so good with them! They really seem to like him!" and the like), It took me a while to realize that I had been under observation at the time, but now I really know what's going on, so I see it happening all the time. Let me bring you up to date around last weekend:

A really good friend of Amy's was in town with her 1 year old boy so we got together for dinner. There were also a couple other ladies there, including a very good friend of Amy's friend (hard to keep names out of this and still make sense), along with the little boy's babysitter/nanny. They're all very nice women, but that's not the point, since we're not to that part of the story where I had even met any of them yet (except Amy's friend, who I've known for many years). I had also not seen Amy's pal since long before she had a glimmer of parenthood in her eyes, so we hadn't "gone there" as of yet.

Aaaanyway...

So I got there early and had been waiting at the restaurant for everyone to show up. That might have gotten me a point or two, since I'm always late, but I digress. In strolls the group of these beautiful young women (that gets me a point or two in the pocket, that I'm about to lose in a few sentences) with the poor little testosterone-starved boy in-tow. (Yeah, that was the sound of points being deducted en masse. Now you know what that sound is, so you'll recognize it later.)

There I am, going around the circle meeting the new people and hugging the old friend and greeting my wife... okay, so they're un-buckling the 1-year old boy from his cart. Must be needing to get him adjusted and ready to get into the restaurant for dinn... oh, I'm getting to meet the boy. Cool, I dig little kids, so let's have a quick "say hi" moment...

Arms stretch out and he basically lurches out of his moms arms at me. "Well hello, little man," I say, "who must I remind you of?"... cool kid, with a bit of girth and kind of squirmy. He's settled firmly in my arms now, seemingly totally content.

It was roughly at that moment that I realized there was no more chatter amongst the ladies. I heard something along the "ahhh" lines from somebody, but after a minute of talking to the boy and playing with him a bit, I realized there was something of a semi-circle of women staring at the boys! Ack! Okay, I get it, "it's on". No mistakes, no missteps... don't drop the boy, by any means!! Keep smiling, keep smiling...

Well, you get the idea, I'm sure. I'm getting evaluated for all manner of things that I'll never know details of. I figure there are a lot of things I did well: no crying, no dropping, several smiles and some giggles... all of these Good Things, so I think I did alright.

It's a really funny thing to go through. Women put me/us/you(?) in these funky situations and then watch what happens. There are rules to this game, I assure you -- you'll never know what they are, though. You'll never know the score you got or whether you "passed" or not, really... unless you really mess up somehow. "Dang, this kid is fat!" would likely get the child removed from your arms, for example, but "this boy's gonna be a great fullback when he grows up!" should do rather nicely, and still get the point across.

At any rate, I had a very nice dinner with some really nice ladies and I really enjoyed hanging out with the little fullback. I think I passed the tests fairly well... this time.

Oh boy. I figured I'd post something real quick since I'm getting my mind ready to handle seeing a more fully-formed fetus/baby/miniature-me inside my wife. I'm definitely a bit nervous about this one. (Yeah, I know, I'm nervous about a lot of things.. yadda, yadda..)

The thing is this: each time we go to one of these appointments, I find myself slapped in the face with the reality of this whole procession. Now, that may sound a bit like a "well, duh!" moment there, but I don't care. To everyone out there who is all excited about every little step of the process and thinks "having babies is the most natural thing you can do" or some crap, you just can't prepare yourself for hearing that little heartbeat or actually seeing a writhing little almost-baby twitching around inside your wife's belly!! To call it surreal would be an understatement!

Today, two hours before the next big ultrasound appointment, I have regressed slightly into the "what in the world are we doing??!?" mindset that I thought I had mostly gotten under control. Having people around recently that just take this stuff like it's nothing unusual or out of the ordinary isn't helping at all. It just makes me more irritated and nervous in general, I've found. Now I'm not saying that anyone really thinks pregnancy is less than "amazing", but I'm talking about the "yeah, it's amazing, but people do it all the time" kind of crap. So what?

I'm so very glad that Amy is happy and excited (again, understatement) because without that, I'd get close to shutting down at times. I just can't find a way to imagine what we're in for on this journey. Every time I get a grip on it and think I have it under wraps, we have another doctor appointment that slaps me with something new. Today, that will be a high-resolution (I think) image of our child from inside the womb. Uhh.... holy poo!!

Well...

I honestly sit here typing this with a slight shakiness to me and a fair bit of tension I can't describe. I'm sure there are others who felt similar -- maybe I hope there are others. I hope that others will be honest and say how they truly felt/feel when faced with this most extraordinary of wonders of the animal world! How can anybody just shrug it all off like it's no big deal simply because it's "natural" or "normal"?? I just don't see it. This is massive!

I'll say this one more time: I find far less comfort in talking to people who just accept this process without a second glance. I'm going to set about finding some folks to talk to that are not just blindly accepting of this stuff. Maybe I need to find some scientist or philosopher-types who've gone through this (or are going through this) just so I can have some intellectual discussions instead of only emotional or flippant ones. Logic and reason for the win!

Okay, I guess I better leave this post alone before I take it yet another direction. :P

I'll go and get ready to see my child now and I'm really, really hoping all the parts look mostly right!! Sheesh -- I'm nervous.

Details, details! This special ultrasound gives you a very specific glimpse of your growing baby.
What it screens for: The ultrasound anatomy scan, or level 2 ultrasound, is an amazingly interesting experience for parents-to-be. Your baby will be measured from crown to rump (and what a cute rump it is!), around his/her middle, around his/her head — and that's just for starters. The four chambers of the heart will be viewed, as well as the kidneys, bladder, stomach, brain, spine, and sex organs (be sure to tell your sonographer if you don't want to know what he or she sees — or doesn't see!).

Measurements are taken to make sure your baby is growing appropriately (and that his or her gestational age is still on target). A survey of the organs, including the umbilical cord, ensures that they are developing normally (or identifies any potential problems as soon as possible). The sonographer will also be looking at your amniotic fluid levels, the location of the placenta, and the fetal heart rate. Settle in to enjoy the show: The detailed level 2 scan can take 30 to 45 minutes (depending on how cooperative your little one wants to be during the photo shoot).

Who it's for: Most practitioners order a level 2 ultrasound for all their moms-to-be.

How it's done: You recline on an exam table with your belly exposed. A sonographer applies gel and then moves the transducer over your abdomen. As sound waves emitted from the transducer bounce off "structures" inside (like your baby's adorable face!), images are formed on a video screen. To get the most comprehensive assessment, the sonographer will be aiming for many different views from lots of different angles in this scan. When the technician gets a clear shot, he or she will freeze-frame the picture (that's the actual sonogram) and then measure the anatomy. You can expect to go home with one or two good sonogram pictures (the perinatologist and your practitioner will review the rest).

When it's done: Most level 2 ultrasounds are performed between 18 and 22 weeks. If you have a condition that needs to be monitored (such as carrying twins), you may have more than one detailed ultrasound.

Risks: There are no significant risks associated with ultrasounds, though medical guidelines caution against unnecessary exposure to ultrasound — which is why your practitioner will schedule only a handful of them throughout your pregnancy.

Source: www.whattoexpect.com